Pregnancy - I'm not scared, I'm terrified
Updated: Dec 19, 2020
I am not scared of being a mom, the act of keeping a human alive and raising it to be a decent person sounds fun to me.
I am scared of the person I will become as a result of being a mom.
I am scared of how fast time seems to be flying and I am only 13 weeks pregnant!
I am scared of how my body is changing.
I am scared of being distracted from God.
I am scared of how busy being a mom will make me.
I am scared of how tired being a mom will make me.
I am scared of how my interactions with my husband will change.
I am scared of this express lane I seemed to have stepped on.
I am scared of my child going off to college and realizing that I am old.
I am scared and that is ok.
I don’t want to tie it all up into a pretty little bow of optimism, sunshine, and good vibes, today.
Today I want to leave this hanging out there a little bit… allow things to feel uncomfortable.
This next stage of being a mom is going to be great, I know that, but just because I am heading into something exciting doesn’t mean that I need to skip over the fact that I am leaving another stage behind.
Time is passing. And it will only seem to fly by faster.
Becoming a mother is the final goodbye to my own childhood. Even in marriage you can still be two dumb kids doing pretty much whatever you want, but becoming a parent requires you to step into adulthood. I know that I can still be fun and childlike, but it is undeniable that I am no longer THE child… I have a child…. I am THE parent.