• Chelsea-Shay Friesen

Baby Waiting - I want it so badly, but God if you don't want it for me....

Crap is that blood?

FRICK, please don't be blood.

Maybe it's implantation bleeding?

Ok definitely a period...

*sighs*

*quietly cries in the bathroom*

*quietly SOBS in the bathroom"

But what went wrong?

I knew I shouldn't have worked out so many time this week! I should have just rested. Next time if I even sort of think I am pregnant I will NOT be working out for at least 3 weeks.

Or maybe we didn't have enough sex?

Or maybe we should track my ovulation better?

Or maybe.. oh gosh I don't know. I am just so sad.

I'm sad but I am not defeated.

Am I?

No of course not. I trust God's timing. That is what I am supposed to do. It's what I want to do. Why does it feel like its the only thing I CAN'T do. And yet I do....

So I'll keep saying that until I believe it. I can trust Him and still cry about this right?

This sucks. We haven't been trying all that long, so why am I so bummed?

Pull yourself together there are girls out there who don't even have uteruses! There are women who've been trying for YEARS with not even one pregnancy. AND YOU HAVE A BABY so stop it.

JUST.

STOP IT!

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Why is that as soon as you start TRYING to have a baby you can't stop thinking about it.